A Composer to his Critics
by Eric Satie

French Composer Eric Satie took his critics out to the woodshed with this satirical column:

"The mind of a critic is a store - a department store:
One finds in it a little of everything: science, bedding, the arts, traveling rugs, writing paper (foreign and domestic), history, smokers outfits, languages, umbrellas, belles-letters, humour, eyeglasses, perfumery, etc...
The Critic knows everything."

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